coworker: – Phew, it’s hot today! Are you gonna jump into your pool after work?
me: – Such a nice idea! Unfortunately I don’t have a pool, but good for you!
(five minutes later):
coworker: – Oh, it’s soooo hot today! You too should jump into your pool at home!
me: – Well, I actually do not have a pool at home.
(an hour later):
coworker: – I can’t bear with this heat anymore! I can’t wait to jump into the pool after work. You should totally do the same!
me: – I am a white trash immigrant. I grew up in poverty in Eastern Europe. I am now living in
the house of horror the deepest hole of Austro-Balkan hell a service apartment of exactly 20 quadratmetres. I do NOT have a pool.
(at the end of our shift):
coworker: – And now we can finally go home and jump into the pool! Aren’t you happy to have a pool on a day like this? Go and jump into it as soon as you’re at home!
me: – Yeah. That’s exactly what I’m gonna do.
(I spent my whole life, which is longer than I’d care to admit, in the belief that in order to take part in a conversation, it is necessary to listen to the others. Turns out I was completely wrong.)