Posts tagged ‘literature’

March 31, 2013

March is the month of expectations…

by ada

… that never come true, haha. I thought my intellectual life couldn’t go worse, but well, it did. In March, I managed to finish exactly two books or, well, actually only one and a half, because one of them I started reading already in February. And no, I haven’t been watching movies either. Not a single one. What I actually did in my spare time, I don’t even remember. I was sleeping it through, I guess. I wonder if I will ever be “me” again or I’ll remain this strange creature of compromises and indifference who I became through the depression, forever.

Another depression post for the most joyful day of the year, yep.

March readings

March 1, 2013

February. Get ink, shed tears.

by ada

Before the outbreak of my depression I used to be a more-than-hundred-books-a-year kind of girl. In 2010 my reading list contained exactly 118 items. In 2011 they were 155. I used to read in four different languages and about all existing genres, like music treatises written in gothic German from 1553 or the physiology of mood disorders, not to mention Real Literature (whatever it actually is) and countless mystery books. When I got sick I lost track of my readings, so I have no list and don’t know the exact number of books I read in 2012 but, well, I lost so many other things due to my depression (like my real life, just to name one) that such minor inconveniences just doesn’t matter anymore to me. I don’t fuss around about small things. I’m doing it big. If I lose, I lose everything. That’s my motto. Haha.

Since I started working those famous 13-hours shifts of ours in last April, I don’t read anymore. I just have no energy and no interest. All I want to do on my free days is to sleep or (if I can pull myself together to put on clothes instead of hanging out in pyjamas all day) to get out and see the daylight. My reading list of February therefore contains exactly three books: an Agatha Christie, an Andrea Camilleri and a Joseph Roth. I did also watch two whole seasons of old Friends episodes and three and a half of the Miss Marple films. That’s all intellectual effort I am able to take in this recent phase of my life.

(And yes, I’m aware of the fact that something’s gone wrong with my camera. It doesn’t focus anymore. I’m taking it back to the store today).

February readings

March 8, 2012

365/68

by ada

For today I planned to visit the Dead Library, an exhibition of Centrális Galéria, but I was after a wrong number so I didn’t find it. After completing three circles around the whole block without noticing anything that bears at least a slight resemblance with a gallery door, I got nervous and decided to leave it and take a walk instead. So happened that I saw the sculpture of the famous and very good Hungarian poet, József Attila, who was suffering from schizophrenia, which made him committing suicide at the age of 35 and who is one of the favourite poets of mine. You can read the English translation of some of his works here and here. There are some nice jobs amongst the translations, but, well, Hungarian language is Hungarian language. It has a beauty and athmosphere that is just impossible to give back in any other language. Even Shakespeare is more beautiful in Hungarian than in original.

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