365/284

I should look for a new workplace very soon. I’m aware of the fact that there is no such thing as a perfect workplace but it’s just not what I want, that’s quite clear. Too much pointless frustration to endure without any reward and too much unnecessary competition based on compensating inferiority complexes. I’m definitely not happy here.*

* well, it’s still my Depression Year, so it would be sort of strange to feel good, haha**

** I’m pausing with 5-HTP right now because I just forgot to order it for a long time and then got curious how long does it take to feel myself miserable again. I don’t know if it’s this, or the weather***, or the fact that my life goes in a direction I don’t really like (or I’m just unconsciously celebrating the one-year-anniversary of the outbreak of the depression that ruined my life), but I actually feel like shit lately.

*** I love autumn but it’s really dangerous for me. My brain gets foggy every year, parallel to the weather, haha

365/178

There are renovations going on at my workplace right now. Today they picked up the floor in front of the nurses’ room, so we couldn’t use the door for two hours and had to climb through the balcony up to the roofs to be able to contact the patients. Every day new adventures. Life is generous to me lately.

As a bonus a depression link, because I started taking 5-HTP a week ago and some results, like having fantastic reality dreams every night, are already showing. During my most terrible times I didn’t dream at all. Since I also couldn’t sleep at all for months despite of being totally exhausted, the lack of dreams was only secondary problem, haha.

Adventures in Depression