Posts tagged ‘New Year’

January 6, 2015

the seasons of her year

by ada

I don’t want to talk a lot about 2014. Although I did achieve almost all the personal goals I set for myself at the beginning of the year, those 365 days were hard on me. I desperately tried my best to keep myself over the water by doing cheerful things like visiting cemeteries looking at dead butterflies swimming in thermal waters and going to a summer holiday but, unfortunately, sometimes the best just isn’t enough. Otherwise: while I can’t claim that I won over all the situations that came my way during the past year, I’m still here and functioning. We could even call this success, I suppose.

This year I’ll give myself a break and make no resolutions other than to take better care of myself, both mentally and physically. As of this blog, all my plans for 2014 will continue their career as 2015 resolutions, because – surprise, surprise – I did not complete any of them. I did not even try, mostly. I’d only add one more to that already quite exhausting list: to never, ever let myself fell three months behind with posting again. The justification for this blog is to document the right-here-and-now; the only purpose it serves is to help me love (or, in tougher times, survive) my daily life. I should keep that in mind even if I’m too busy, too tired or too sad to care about this place.

I took an unusual amount of self-portraits in 2014. I’d like to say that this post is the documentation of the magical journey of finding my inner self during this less than ideal year but, honestly, that journey did not happen and these pictures are more about the actual place, background and composition, than about me. I still like them, so here they are, telling the story of my 2014.

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balna 1

Bálna 36

Bethlen

omarno 1

nature

Tata

Tata 5

butterfly 1

me in Koper 7 (2)

me in Piran 4jpg

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me in Ipar 2

me in wien

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Xmas

December 31, 2013

the year is going, let him go

by ada

2013 wasn’t exactly a bad year for me but it wasn’t a good one either. It was like just milling around, one step forward two steps back while nothing really makes sense and nothing ever happens. I’m quite relieved that this year is finally over. Yay 2014!

In contrast to last year this time I have numerous New Year’s Resolutions. Most of them are private, that I won’t discuss here. My resolutions regarding this blog are to

  1. be more personal. At some point along my way through 2013 this blog stopped being my personal diary and became a travel blog or rather a backup place where I uploaded some of the halfway acceptable photos I took of buildings. Which is fine too, I guess, but becoming so neutral was never my intention.
  2. post less and select and sort out my photos more strictly. Sometimes I really envy those beautiful, artistic photo blogs with simple designs and meaningful pictures and I have to remind myself that the purpose of my blog is not to cause visual joy to anybody out there but to collect and save my memories. Crappy pictures for crappy memories. Haha.
  3. improve my photography. Because even if this place most likely will never evolve into a beautiful, artistic photo blog, I still want to learn how to make my indoor pictures less blurry.
  4. write more about music. I totally get that nobody likes my music posts but me, haha, but hey, it’s my blog where I do as I please. And I don’t want to completely forget the person I was before the depression. That nice and intelligent person that had opinions and knowledge and was talented and her life wasn’t centered around iv pumps and artificial hearts. Not that there is anything wrong with artificial hearts.

So let’s remember some of the nice and/or important things I did or that happened in 2013:

I started the year with fireworks in Salzburg.

tűzijáték

Milo was born shortly after that.

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Spring was beautiful (when it wasn’t raining).

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I visited 30 cities in 6 different countries during the year (I don’t count Salzburg and Budapest where I actually live and not just visit). My favourite places were rainy Venice…

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…and the beautiful synagogue of Třebíč.

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 I also paid a visit to the Dachau Concentration Camp.

kz dachau

I hiked mountains…

Untersberg fog 8

… got wet by waterfalls…

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…took boats to reach islands…

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…and cable cars to reach peaks.

Untersberg cable car

After a more than twenty years long hiatus I actually made two zoo visits this year. A trend I definitely want to continue.

zoo

I became an expert in mountain cemetery art…

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…and in carillon mechanics.

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I celebrated the opening of the Salzburger Festspiele…

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…documented folk festivals…

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…and politically critical art exhibitions.

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I bought my first DSLR. Technically spoken, it’s an SLT, but honestly, for me the definition doesn’t make any difference. I am not entirely happy with it, maybe it’s the kit lens and its huge barrel distortion and poor focusing skills; but it’s nice to have control over my choices. Unfortunately, I don’t really have any control over anything yet, so a lot of blurry, over or underexposed, out of focus photos are to come till I learn how to handle it properly. Don’t be too hard on me if I post the sixty-fourth slightly washed-out picture of the same blurred flower or distorted building. I also try not to over-edit my photos in order to make them less painful but it’s hard, really hard.

I also let my hair cut, after wearing it long for about ten years. This decision didn’t make me more beautiful (I still haven’t found out what makes me more beautiful, haha) but man, does it feel good to have it short! On my Good Hair Days I look like Dora The Explorer. On my Bad Hair Days… Oh well. On my Bad Hair Days I look a lot like Pumuckl. I usually have Bad Hair Days (not that this makes any difference). (Also, you’re welcome for my precious self-portrait, displayed in the true manner of the Mysterious Blogger’s Awkward Bedroom Mirror Selfie. At least it isn’t a Common Restroom Mirror Selfie entitled “what I wore today”. And you really can’t claim that I’d overflow this blog with my own self-portraits).

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In 2013 I also quit my job (twice) and moved (twice). I see a certain pattern here, haha. I guess I’m addicted to this feeling of freedom that comes with quitting jobs.

moving

I left Salzburg…

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…and moved back to Budapest for a while.

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I started a course to specialize in Critical Care Nursing and Anaesthesiology, mostly because I missed using my brain and was so bored with the job they call nursing in Austria. Hungarian Health Care System has its (major? giant? monumental?) flaws but at least it isn’t boring for all that take actively part in it. Stressful? Yes. Boring? No.

ito

I also had some family time with relatives I haven’t seen in two years…

szalonnasütés 7

…and went a bit heavy on Christmas markets to overcompensate last year’s complete lack of festive feelings.

Vörösmarty tér

At the end of the year Móricka turned two. He celebrated with smashing his cake to the floor. Unintentionally, of course.

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So this was (the nicer part of) my 2013. Let’s move on, please?

January 2, 2013

Salzburg 2013

by ada

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January 1, 2013

year that trembled and reel’d beneath me

by ada

I have mixed feelings towards 2012. I didn’t reach any of my goals (like getting back to my real life or getting rid of this whole depression issue), so it was sort of a fail. On the other hand, the pure facts are, that I started the year with being told by psychiatrists that taking SSRI’s is my only way to survive; and ended it with watching the fireworks in one of the most romantic cities in the world. I definitely see a certain progress in my way through 2012, even if it wasn’t the kind of progress I hoped to achieve.

That’s why I decided to have no New Year Plans for 2013. Life happens, regardless of our hopes and plans and dreams. That’s definitely a lesson I learnt in 2012. I will take this year as it comes (not that I have another possibility, haha) and we will see, where its last day will find me.

And after this short lesson on fatalism, a brief summary of my year:

In January I started this project with the purpose of taking my clinical depression under control. I also drank a lot of coffee with my friend Ancsangyalka with the same purpose, walked the streets of Budapest and listened to Roger Scruton lecturing on music, meaning and morality.

january

In February I took some photos of the Danube, felt sick from the depression, had no clothes to wear and visited a lot of doctors.

february

In March I behaved like a good Hungarian, met the Easter Bunny and visited the snowdrop fields of the arboretum of Alcsút. Poor Cat got a tumour removed.

march

In April I dyed some Easter eggs with mixed result, took part in the March of the Living Budapest, travelled twice to Vienna to get permissions and moved to Salzburg.

april

In May I learnt how to put up a May Tree, saw a lot of handsome, young men in uniform and worked a lot. Móricka travelled the world.

may

In June I worked and worked (and worked and worked and…), bought some things I badly needed and finally spent some days in The Netherlands.

june

In July I felt irritated by my job and sat by the Salzach a lot; took some walks in Salzburg while discovering some of the dirty secrets of the city, and welcomed Móricka back from his world trip.

july

In August I was continually listening to operas, spent a day in Graz, moved in my new service appartement and hosted Móricka for a few days in Salzburg.

August

In September I got sick. Regardless of it I spent a day in Linz, worked an enormous amount and travelled to Budapest.

september

In October I visited a lot of museums, the lake of Traunsee and the waterfall of Liechtensteinklamm. The first snow also arrived.

october

In November I travelled to Prague, attended a fancy nursing ball, spent a few days at home and was forced to do some crafting at my workplace.

november

In December my father got sick and I paused this project for almost 3 weeks. Móricka turned 1 year old, I tried my best not to miss Christmas completely and finally went back to Salzburg where I spent even the last day of the year at my workplace.

 december

December 31, 2012

365/348

by ada

I spent the last day of 2012 with working thirteen hours, and exactly so will I spend the first day of 2013. The new year doesn’t seem to bring a significant change in my lifestyle.

Sorry for the even-poorer-than-usual quality of the photo – I made it with my phone while drinking champagne.

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